Can you forgive me?

Hi dear, it's me again.

I know, yes, my sad dear, I know that forgiveness is one of our hardest life lessons.

I see your stony heart's suffering... yes, dear, I understand your train of thoughts.

You are not able to forgive to outsider human beings - because you are not able to forgive to your own self!

All your mistakes, falls or faults, or your youthful stumblings and subsequent blunders are hidden in your ego's treasury... moreover... these errors are your ego's most valuable torturer tools.

As a cruel inquisitor!

You are your own interrogator, then you kindle the stake and burn your own soul, day by day, without intermission.

The loathsome smells of burned flesh, of maimed emotions, of dying ideas girdle you. Your buried-alive memories' agonizing pain covers your whole life... like a dirty shroud.

Oh, my dear, why are you so cruelly rigorous to yourself?

Why do you think that punishment is the single "prize" you deserve?

Yes, I hear your silence... there is no reply... your whole life took place in the name of penalty.

It began in your childhood... yes, you never were good enough.

You have learnt that punishment - self-punishment! - is your ego's main purpose... and you, my sad dear, could not make difference between your ego - and your soul. When punishing your precious soul - you serve your ego's commands.

And you truly are a great employee!

You obey faithfully!

PERFECTION!

The perfection became your fixed idea.

You compare your own capabilities, decisions, thoughts, acts, your whole life! - you compare to the outside world's precedents and examples. And this comparison brings a sorrowful upshot.

You realise that you are not perfect, whilst the outside world demands on you perfection!

You sacrifice the existing inner values, crucify your soul's true manifestation and choke yourself into this permanent self-criticism and self-punishment.

Stop!

Please, stop for a minute!

Let's think together.

Do you know, my sad dear, that God is the single perfect existence?

Do you know, that we are no more, just His unknowing children, who come here to learn?

A soul, who is perfect, already doesn't need a new Earthly journey!

You and me, dear, we are here to make our special mistakes.

To make our faults, which can show the needed outcome.

We are here till that time, when at last we realise the meaning of our falls and failures, we are able to find and learn the edification/moral.

We are here "to be burnished on each other".

As silex stones in a neanderthal-man's hands.

The process is painful, moreover, it is dangerous. You see, our bursting sparks may hurt the fellow-travellers. All we scatter and all we receive the burn wounds, that is why we need so much forgiveness.

To forgive and to become forgiven!

That is why God gave us the healing words - "I apologise, please, forgive me!"

He knows and loves our weakness and imperfection.

Only your ego - the evil! - wants you to suffer by your guarded self-hatred.

What do you think, who you are, not to forgive to your own self, when God already has forgave to you?

Who you are, not to forgive to your similarly stumbling fellow travellers, when God already has forgave to them?

Forgive your own mistakes - they taught you during this hard journey.

Value your silliness - it made you to be able to recognize your wisdom.

Value your bad decisions - they showed you the opposite side's good solutions.

Value your Earthly road's every fall - whilst kneeling on the ground in tears, you have found your true gems, appearing from the dust by your footsteps.

Value and forgive your special, own failures - they digged out your soul's true diamonds.