... and to forgive, at the end ...

Yes, dear, this is the same, old, hard task.

Forgiveness!

How to win against our ego's pride and vindictiveness.

How to recognise the suffering soul, behind the mask of our "enemy".

How to understand and follow God's intentions.

You may say - "Here is this strange figure with her accent, speaking about forgiveness. But does she know, what it means?!"

Let me tell my own story, as I lived through this hard lesson.

My second - alcoholic  - husband never grew up.

His mother - my mother in law - commanded him from the background and I never could be good enough.

When my husband was at home for one-two days, and his mother's influence became weaker - we lived in almost peace. But after some days he, himself forced to visit his mother again and he got the new directions against me.

Our little peace was over immediately.

My mother in law defended her son's alcoholism, moreover, she always gave money to her son to buy alcoholic drink.

Her principle could be summarized in one single sentence "A man has to drink, because he is working!"

In her eyes I was the biggest barrier, the sinful rebel who dares to fight against drinking. 

"Why don't you let your husband to drink?!" - shouted on me in our little, village house. Yes, she was the biggest defender of my husband's alcoholism and this way she became the main supporter of her own son's suicide!

After my husband's death my mother in law began a "silent war" against us - avoiding, rejecting, ignoring not just me, but her two own grandsons too. Her last visit was short and stormy. After the great, dramatic scene she disappeared from our life.

Months passed and I was broken, too weak. Needed some more weeks to make a good decision, but at last I took all my children and we travelled to the nearer little town, to grandma visit.

I knew - surely knew! - that higher, more important viewpoints are existing. More important, than my grievance.

My two children are grandsons of my mother in law, and she is the grandma of my sons.

These "positions" were given by God and no one might change them!

Who am I to take away their grandma from my children?!

You should have seen her face seeing us, standing on her threshold!

Maybe she was not happy, BUT the ego game was ended that day.

During long years, when they were learning in that little town, my children visited, supported their grandma. Later I helped her. I took home and washed her clothes, I went for shopping her food and medicines, I nursed her, when got ill and after months of hospital treatment I took her home to us.

As the years went by I slowly realised her deep, terrible pain!

Can you imagine a mother, who lost both her sons?

My husband committed suicide at his 40 and his brother died by liver-cirrhosis at 46.

A mother, who lost both her sons!

God gave her a cruelly hard lesson with a horrifying alcoholic husband who hung himself more than forty years ago - and my mother in law was weak to change, couldn't break the pattern and let her two sons to become alcoholics, too. She suffered an unimaginably hard way.

Who am I to punish a mother, who mourns her two sons with an endless mourn along her lifetime?

This recognition changed our relationship.

A true love, a kind, warm connection came into being between us.

Now she lives in a nursing home. I visit her regularly and our conversations give her blessed relief. Her terrible, torturing memories come to light and lose their power.

I'm blessed. God gave me the chance to heal this poor old lady's soul, helping her to get rid of the lifelong sufferings.

And, you see, dear, I get my reward, because there are eternal rules - every healing works in turns.

So when you open your heart and begin to heal someone with love - this healing makes your heart to become richer, stronger, healthier. God knows how to motivate us to convey His blessed unconditional love!

And only this is important. We are one, common spirit.

When I forgive and help someone to step onwards - this is the highest vibration I ever can create in this material life.

And my vibration heals our whole common spirit!