11.) Look up, my dear, to the sky!

I'm here again, ready to start.

You lead!

Yes, during the past one and a half year I already learned, that you lead me... you lead me to the inner places, where your unhealed scars are bleeding. You lead me with silent signs, and the task is mine... to utter those torments, which already have muted you.

Ah, listen... as the rain is falling...

Come closer, dear, I open my umbrella... let's start... where will you guide me today?

*

Is this dark cave our journey destination?

Downwards, on slippery stairs of granite rocks, we descend... deeper and deeper... in dense semidarkness, through sloping, narrow corridors... between low, wet walls, breathing the warm, heavy air... stepping among muddy puddles... deeper and deeper... the outside world's noises fade away slowly... just five more stairs... four... three... two... one... and we arrive... this beautiful, hidden dropstone hall is your subconscious.

A faint light finds its way among cliff rifts... illuminates the high ceiling's sparkling crystals... we sit down on a warm, dry stone... comfortably in secure and safety.

Take a deep breath, my dear, put down your backpack, no need for burdens... relax, enjoy the calming silence.

Do you hear this low sound?

Someone is crying... someone is crying, hidden in a dark corner, crouched on his hunkers... a little boy is lurking here, within your subconscious. See this wonderful child, see this panicky little boy. He is you... your own young self.

And now you address this frightened little being:

"- Come, deary, don't be afraid. Come, sit into my lap. Let me caress your black hair, let me caress your lovely face. -"

And now you recognize the truth - He is your vulnerable Inner Child.

And seeing the torment of this weak, scared little boy, you already know, surely know, that you owe him with true remembrance, with tranquilizer words, with forgiveness, understanding, with unburdening relief.

He is the five year old You.

You are here... stuck in time, crying on that ominous day, when your Mom pushed off and sent you far away from your family, to a foreign place, exposed to strange adults' intentions, to be an abused, defenceless prey without safety.

You are here, with broken trust, in unhealed suffering, deceived and abandoned... here, where remorse and shame are overwhelming your vulnerable, young heart.

Watching this tear-stained, familiar face you feel miraculous compassion.

Caring love's enchanting waves enshroud your heart as you clearly feel your own, more than six decade old throe.

Embracing your own fragile, child body, you feel deep togetherness, you feel deep responsibility.

And now you know, surely know, that your adult self is the single saviour of your horrified Inner Child.

You feel wonderful generosity of touching gratitude as your Inner Little Boy becomes more and more relaxed in your protecting arms.

And now you begin to speak to your Inner Child, in calming voice:

"- I love you, little Me!

   You are a wonderful, innocent soul.

   It is not your fault, that your father was not able to defend you.

   It is not your fault, that your mother was not able to overcome her own demon.

   It is not your fault, that you were pushed off from maternal love.

   Nothing may authorize a mother to make a difference between her children.

   Nothing may authorize a mother to repudiate her own child.

   Every child deserves maternal love.

   Parents have to undertake responsibility for their children.

   Nothing may release them from under their parental responsibility.

   You are not sinner for the abuse, you had to suffer. You were weak and helpless against strong, wicked adults.

   It is not your fault, that someone attacked your innocent, filial body.

   It is not your fault.

   I love you, little Me.

   You deserve your own forgiveness.

   You deserve your own self-love.

   Already you are in safe.

   I defend you, I love you, I guard you from now."

And now you see, as your Inner Little Boy listens to your cradling words attentively. Slowly he stops crying and a thick, dark grey cloud of pain leaves his mouth with a deep sigh.

And you see wonderingly, that your long ago parasitizing, torturer demon escapes with this dark grey cloud, and fades away without a trace.

And now you know, clearly know, that unburdening your Inner Little Boy, you, simultaneously liberated your whole existence.

As you embrace the fragile, calmed down child, your Inner Little Boy nestles to you... closer and closer... in flowing love... your chest shines with a beautiful white light, your accepting heart opens up, and slowly you merge with your Inner Child.

You feel the change, as your long ago locked life energy gets liberated in your shining heart.

Your Inner Child's happiness carries this neverending relief.

Yes, though the path is steep, but you hurry with energic steps towards the cave's mouth.

Soon we reach the rock gate, and step out, to the light.

Look up, my dear, to the sky!

Torn, fading clouds run a race with tender winds, their last raindrops are falling into your lovely face, whilst playful sun rays paint rainbow above our magical, rain-drenched life.

Reborn, united, vivified... yes, dear, you have arrived.

08.2016